Home Remedies

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

2. Avoid arguments with females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. You need only two tools in life: WD-40 & duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. If you can't fix it with a  hammer, you've got an electrical problem.


THOUGHT for the day:
Some people are like SLINKIES - not really good for anything... But they bring a smile to your face when they're pushed down the stairs.  
     

Thanks to Mark Parisi/offthemark.com and Thanks for the email, Hema :-)

Let's get ready for stick folks!!!

Got this in an email ... it's cute, and will give you something to do if you're bored.
So, check this website out and have fun ....

http://www.drawastickman.com/

Two cheers for moms out there!!!

In the light of kids being taken away from parents and being put in foster care, which isn't much better in some instances ... There are times when moms feel kids try to take advantage of magnifying glass being put on parents these days. A good swat to the behind never harmed me. But I like this mom's solution even better .... (Moms, have your grins ready)

 

 

Don't Mess with Mom
====================

My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He'd decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The "Children's Bill of Rights."

It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
and get tattoos from head to toes.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with the crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better known as C.S.D. "

Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door
But the chance to teach a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

The next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D.,
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of those Nike Airs.

And I've canceled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.

Just save that raging appetite,
and wait 'til dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof above your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
and I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the "Parent's Bill of Rights,"
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
and why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D.?"


~Author Unknown~

KNOCK KNOCK ...

KNOCK KNOCK

Who's there?

HIPAA

Hipaa who?

I CAN'T TELL YOU!

OK, that was meant for those in tune with medical terms -- either medical professionals, or those somehow involved (perhaps a recent patient)

The world says good-bye to Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

Memorable Quotes from Steve Jobs (1955-2011)

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Innovation comes from people meeting up in the hallways or calling each other at 10:30 at night with a new idea, or because they realized something that shoots holes in how we've been thinking about a problem.

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it.

You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "no" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Death is the destination we all share, no one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life.

The ULTIMATE motivational speech ...

Love all the inspirational and motivational posters ... here's a few:

Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

Inspiration - It doesn't pay the electric bill.

As far as motivational speeches go -- this is the world's greatest.


And, then there's the posters like this one ...

Thank you to JR and to those that didn't make it home ...

JR Martinez taking part in Dancing With The Stars ... dancing his tribute to others that didn't make it back. He has endured so much defending our nation and our freedom...
A beautiful performance done with honor --